Spun (2003) Rated R Starring: Jonathan Schwartzman, Brittany Murphy, and Mickey Rourke Rating: out of

To whit, we have a cast comprised of Jason Schwarzman, who was so good in Rushmore, Mena Suvari (American Beauty), Mickey Rourke (Sin City), Brittany Murphy (also Sin City) and John Leguizamo, whose mere presense alone is worth the price of admission (usually). Even Eric Roberts is present and accounted for. That's right -- Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts in the same film! If the filmmakers would have taken a different approach, this would be a camp classic. Unfortunately, it's just crap.

The plot -- such as it is -- involves Ross (Schwartzman), who goes to make a drug buy at Spider Mike's house. Spider Mike (Leguizamo) is a meth dealer who sells for The Cook (Rourke). When Ross finds that Mike is temporarily out of product, he is asked by The Cook's girlfriend (Murphy) to become their driver for an occasional errand. Ross is so screwed up on dope that he accidentally leaves his stripper girlfriend handcuffed to his bed for days while he drives for The Cook. And, that's basically about it.

Oh, there's other stuff that happens, but none of it advances any kind of story or really means anything. If you need the movie to provide some kind of entertainment value, you can play "Spot the Cameo" to see if you know who plays the clerk at the porn store (Rob Halford, singer of the heavy metal band, Judas Priest) or who plays the bartender at the stripclub (porn star Ron Jeremy). Or, you can play "Which 80s song is being covered as a slow acoustic ballad?", since the soundtrack features Billy Corgan's slowed-down versions of such songs as Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast" and Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" among others.

Director Jonas Akerland, who's previous credits include Moby's "Porcelain" video, has certainly made a visually interesting film. The problem is the script. Writers Will De Los Santos and Crieghton Vero have provided nothing that makes me want to sit through such treats as Mena Suvari taking a dump or John Leguizamo masturbating into a sock.

I will say that if you liked Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, you'll probably like Spun. I hated both of them.

Trivia: The wrestling video playing in Mickey Rourke's room is the Insane Clown Posse's Juggalo Championsh*t Wrestling (JCW). (Source: The Internet Movie Database)